Seriously.

and don't be using my work without permission either. it's called a copyright bitches. what what?

Why post a picture of Clive Owen? Because he's handsome, sexy, and British and I want to.

I have contemplated before posting about my adventures in dating. In fact, I've ever posted about it...changed my mind and taken the post down. But I think I truly need to vent about it. I mean, I realize I've only put myself back out on the dating market in the last month or so...but still. I don't want to be on the dating market for ages. But I also don't want to settle. So apparently I have to go through a lot of people who aren't right for me to find someone who is.

I also realize I'm not the only one who thinks dating is hard. Because I'm pretty sure it is for everyone. It's hard when you get rejected by someone you like. It's equally hard to tell someone who really likes you that you don't feel the same way. Especially if there are things about that person you really like....but you just don't feel attracted to them.

I have another problem though that compounds the whole "dating is hard" bit. That is...I'm not a skinny little minx. I'm almost 6 feet tall and I have a big structure and I'm overweight. Of course, I'm working on the weight thing (I'm ALWAYS working on the weight thing) but it makes dating hard. I know I'm an attractive person but my struggles with weight really tug on my self confidence levels.

*Sigh* I guess I shouldn't even be focused on dating right now. I have a week and a half left of school in which 3 weeks of work must be crammed into (and I keep putting it off). And in 3 weeks (holy crap!) I'll be leaving for my Italy trip. So dating should be the last thing on my mind...right? Right...of course. No time for men. Unless they're tall, handsome Italian men. Yup, that's what I'll just keep telling myself. Like a mantra or something.

oh yeah...

You know what...I don't even care if it's not cool to like JT. He's freakin adorable and he really did bring sexy back (although I'm not actually sure that sexy left and if it did...where did it go?). And it never fails that if I'm in a bad/stressed/upset mood, if I listen to a little JT I'll be feeling better in no time. And also I'll probably feel like doing a little dance and some crappy lipsyncing...or worse...singing along! But only if I'm alone. So thank you Justin, you sexy adorable white boy, for elevating my mood!

Art

Thanks swissmiss! I love it :)

She's a Freakin Mind Reader!

I have mentioned in the past (in fact, two posts ago) my admiration for Chelsea of the Smack Talking variety. Having read her most recent post, I feel once again like she has been inside my head. Or perhaps, not my head personally, but in the heads of many of her fellow twenty soethings. She is amazing at articulting the fears, dreams, inhibitions, and emotions of people in our age group. I would like to thank Chelsea for talking smack and making me and all of her readers grateful for the fact that we aren't the only ones shuffling through the mud and the muck of life.

Sit still you wiley beast!

I cannot make my brain sit still. My mind is wandering here and there and back over here. Which is a problem because I'm trying to write a paper on Matisse and Picasso and my mind wishes to think about everything but those two great masters of Modern Art. I eagerly await the day I will not have to write any more papers. Ha! and I am considering grad school somewhere off in the future!

Perhaps if I vent a little I will be able to remove some of the distractions or at least keep them at bay by giving them some air. I am a little anxious because it is very close to the end of the semester and there's lots of work to be done but I'm overwhelmed by it and also a little in denial. Which is standard operating procedure for me. Here I am blogging when I should be writing on art theory. It will all come together in the end though. It always does. I will be writing and printing up until the very last moment, but it will be done and it will be good. That is, if the past is any measure of the present.

Also, in a very short time (4 weeks exactly) I will be boarding a plane for Italy and I am extremely excited but also anxious because of all there is to do. I am also still trying to pocket cash for spending money but things have been really tight around here lately and that has been difficult.

And finally, I recently decided to re-enter the dating world via Match.com. I don't think I'm a very good dater. I don't want to be a serial dater, I want to date someone, get to know them and form a relationship with them. But, of course, the problem is, very rarely do you meet that person sooner rather than later. You have to go through a few people before you find the right one. And...I'm not looking for a husband here. I'm just looking for someone who I can trust and have fun with and know that if I'm having a rough day, I can call him and he'll tell me to come over and he'll fix dinner for me/take me out. I want someone who I can go out and have a blast with and someone I can stay home and cuddle with. And of course...all the other benefits that come with being in a relationship with someone. I really miss benefits. mmmm....benefits.

I think the biggest issue that I (and every other woman in the country) have a problem with is the whole "will he call/when is he going to call" game. That is rather tortuous and I don't care how much I just try to chill and be all "whatever" about it, it just sucks. The way I see it, if the date goes well, you should get a call the next day. We should talk about how awesome the date was and then make plans for another one. But, there are egos involved. Two of them. And when the ego is involved, nothing is ever simple. *sigh* Ah well, I guess I will just try to have as much fun as I can. If I don't find anyone before I leave at the end of May, that just gives me more leeway to have fun with Italian guys :)

One More Thing...

I thought I'd also mention that I have found some new favorite blogs and I would like to give these ladies their due:

Chelsea Talks Smack: Her posts are articulate and almost always leave me feeling like she has spent time in my head and completely understands. Seriously...I don't think I've ever read a post that I haven't deeply related to. I want to take this opportunity to thank her for her candor and eloquence. Oh, also, the song list on her blog is amazing. I alway pop out the player and listen while I work on the computer.

Du Wax Loolu: This girl just makes me laugh! The way she relates her life, which often seems to be quite an adventure (especially when it comes to flowers and wedding invitions), is entertaining and quite relatable.

Bad Blogger+Bloggie Friend Swap

Okay...I'm a bad blogger. I haven't posted since March 22 as you can see. But seriously people! I've been a little busy. But I've been feeling bad about it too. I've been neglecting my readers. Bad Blogger! Bad Blogger! Alright! I'm here to make it up to you. Thanks to the wonderful 20somethings network, I discovered Rachel's Bloggie Friend Swap. Go here to find all the details and participate! I am and I'm excited. This is my first swap. I've always wanted to participate in one but always find out about them after the fact.

By the way, If any of you out there in the blogosphere are hosting a neat swap, please do tell me. I just love the whole idea of it.